Misconceptions about burnout recovery

Lisa van Mierlo, 28-06-2022.

Owner and counsellor/psychologist at Counselling Praktijk Amsterdam Oost.

When you have a Burnout, people generally give you a lot of advice about how to recover from this. Advice such as: “Learn how to listen to your body”, Identify what gives you energy” and “Make sure you go back to work as soon as possible”.

Based on my own burnout experience and experiences of clients in my practice, I would like to share a couple of misconceptions about how to recover from a Burnout.

Misconception 1: it is important to learn how to listen to your body.

Many therapists state that it is important for people with burnout to start listening to their body and to take into account the signals it sends. Being able to listen well to your body and learning to set your boundaries to yourself and others can help to prevent burnout. However, when you start to feel what your body is indicating or where your boundaries are at an early stage of your burnout recovery, you mainly learn to listen to a body that is in a disordered state. In this early stage, your body reacts unpredictably and can go into stress mode at any time. Even when you do something that should actually make you feel relaxed, you can still feel overstimulated. In my experience, and that of other clients, focusing on what you feel in your body can actually add to your stress. It can unconsciously teach you that you can't handle certain activities because they trigger your body’s stress response. As a result, you can even develop anxiety symptoms, which makes you avoid more and more things. It should be clear that this does not contribute to your burnout recovery, and can even complicate recovery.

Misconception 2: it is important to learn what gives you energy.

When you have a burnout, everything costs energy. Activities that you used to enjoy can suddenly become exhausting or overstimulating. Many burnout programs by coaches and other therapists focus on getting to know your “energy givers”. To engage in these activities would promote burnout recovery. The problem with this is that you only find out what gives you energy when you listen to your body's signals. The thought, “Hey, this activity gives me energy,” doesn't actually occur when you're in a burnout, especially at the beginning of your recovery. Your body is still so out of balance that it continuously fires off all kinds of bodily signals that are not related to the activity you do or the rest you take. In my experience, this does not contribute to the recovery of your burnout.

Misconception 3: a burnout is a blessing; it makes you a stronger person.

Many people who end up having a burnout often hear from others that this is a blessing. That you become a stronger person after recovery. A person who feels more whole and becomes happier in life. I have always had great difficulty hearing these well-intentioned statements. I also hear this from clients who feel they cannot relate to this statement. When you have a burnout, you don't feel strong at all. It feels like your body has let you down and you can no longer rely on it. Even after a burnout, you will often never be and feel the same as before. You may suffer from residual symptoms such as fatigue and/or anxiety in certain situations. Your body sometimes reacts in a state of hypervigilance or becomes overstimulated to protect you against a new burnout or relapse. Clients also often indicate that they have become more sensitive to stress and that they can endure less stimuli than before. It also happens that you learn that you are a highly sensitive person (HSP). As a result, you are forced to organize your life differently. You have to take into account what your body tells you when choosing to do activities and you can no longer do everything you used to do "carefree". The question is then, do you come out as a stronger person? Or do you come out “differently” and do you learn to deal with that so that you can keep a better balance in life in order to prevent a relapse or new burnout? All this does not mean that it is impossible to recover from a burnout, but especially in the initial phase I find it misleading to tell people that you come out stronger. You come out more sensitive and you learn to take that into account. You no longer become your old self, you become an “different” self. And you learn along the way that that's okay.

So what ís helpful in recovering from a burnout?

My burnout recovery took a long time. It took multiple times of falling and getting up again before I slowly crawled out of it. And I still feel anxiety for a relapse sometimes. Based on my own experience, my experience in guiding clients with burnout in my practice, and following courses in this area, I have come up with my own burnout approach that I apply in my practice. Would you like to know more about this approach or schedule an appointment for an introductory meeting?

My burnout recovery model

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